Sauna Twin

Last week, I was sick and decided to go to my grandmother's house for some much needed T.L.C. We were watching novelas when commercial graced our screen:



It promises a slimmer figure in three weeks without having to do any work! Can you imagine?

I can't.

As my nana was reaching for the phone, I wondered: we eat tamales and beans pumped with lard, tortillas and pan dulce packed with carbs, and our community has its own diabetes association, but we constantly look for products to help us find the easy way out.

The Latino Diabetes Association says that starches, fruits, milk, starchy vegetables such as corn, and sweets are all carbohydrate foods, something that diabetics need to keep in check.

So I wandered around my nana's kitchen and noticed corn tamales, peach and fig empanadas, potato pancakes, and a half a cup of milk ready to be mixed in with some coffee (I really needed the pampering) and was really astonished that no one in our family has diabetes.

While I'm taking that as a blessing, my nana just shrugged and said, "I brought the good genes into the family," as she takes a bite of her empanada.

How much is that baggie in the window?

Can you imagine seeing this on the runway? This shopping bag costs $2.00 at El Barrio Market at 1001 South Sixth Avenue and is seen all over downtown Nogales stuffed with inexpensive clothes and toys. Actually, it's seen all over Mexico's marketplaces and are widely used for their durability and low cost.

Now check this out. It's a link to view Louis Vuitton's Spring 2007 ready-to-wear collection on style.com. And what are the stylish models holding? A VERY similar bag, only it's made out of braided leather, has the luggage company's stamp and the costs about 1,000 times more.

I really don't understand fashion sometimes.

The lady behind the counter at El Barrio Market laughed in my face after I told her about the designer bag. "So what, they can't come up with new ideas?" she retorted in Spanish. After a brief conversation about how designer clothes is supposed to make you look more classy and not cheap, we both decided everyone is better off with the two dollar version.

"At least everyone will know it's not a knock-off," she said.

Time for a "chower"

Wedding season is here. In fact, I don't think it has ever stopped. In the past year and a half, I have been to eight weddings. EIGHT. That's almost one every two months! And don't even get me started on the bridesmaid dresses and the bridal showers. . . (Or should I say "chowers"?)

No, not because I was chowing down on the food, but because that's how it's pronounced. There was a huge debate in one of the two chowers I was at this weekend (yes, two. Meaning there are two more weddings coming up real soon) over how Mexican women from different regions make the "ch" sound.

The women from northern Chihuahua say they're from "Shiwawa" and some of the old-fashioned families in the south scoff at those who can't say they've visited CHapultepec.

Strange conversation to have at a chower, but not as strange as the topic that followed.

I might be familiar with chowers, knowing there are themes and such, but seeing as I've never been married, I had no clue there were different types for different crowds.

Is your religious grandmother coming to celebrate your engagement? It must be a "Shower Biblico." Symbolic gifts are given to keep the love and happiness in the marriage going and excerpts from the bible may be read, or a rosary may be prayed, or both.

Next, "el Shower del Abanico" or the Fan Shower. In this particular one, the bride-to-be's closest friends all agree on a set amount of money to give to the bride and then once it's all gathered, it's fanned out and tied, later to be included during the wedding's dollar dance.

"El Shower Personal," "El Shower de Casa" and "La Pedida" all translate to the Personal Shower (where lingere and bath and body products are given), the Shower for the House (self-explanatory) and the engagement party, respectively.

Being as curious as I am, I googled many of these titles that night and found little more than announcements for most. The next day, however, at the second chower, (which was a Shower Personal) I asked the married women for their take.

Many had a couple, if not all, of these chowers and still received gifts at the wedding. Making a mental note that these women will owe me my fair share of Kitchen-Aid deluxe mixers and silky pijamas, I sat there wondering what the cuchillos (knives) from the night before might have meant to the bride, seeing as the chower was not "de la casa," but a "biblico" one.

¿This is a quesadilla?

Growing up "Sonoran," quesadillas were part of my (almost) daily diet. In the northern Mexican state where both my parents are from, the tortillas were always made with flour and the cheese was a deliciously melted Oaxacan type.

Over time, I came to find that corn tortillas are also acceptable as is melting some ham in with the cheese. Yum-O! But as far as I was concerned, that was it. No fancy garnish, no wild flavors. In fact, I almost cried when I saw the Taco Bell commercial announcing their version stuffed with chicken or beef (But please, they use "panadero bread," what the heck is that?).

Much to my surprise, quesadillas do get fancy! On my trip to Mexico City in May, as I was hovering over the small attendees of a swap meet-style marketplace I saw this:

I know, totally unappetizing, but it was GOOD! The tortillas were made in front of me with blue corn and the lady stuffed them with things I never thought I'd actually let near my lips. I had one with huitlachoche and flor de calabaza. I guess this excerpt I found off of Food Timeline will help a bit in my explanation:

"Quesadillas are one of the Mexicans' favorite simple snacks. They are, in fact, uncooked tortillas stuffed with one of various fillings and folded over to make a "turnover." They are then toasted on a hot griddle or fried until golden. In many parts of Mexico they are filled with strips of Chihuahua cheese, which melts and "strings" nicely--a Mexican requirement...the farther south one goes the more complicated they become. For instance, in central Mexico the simplest ones are filled with some of the braided Oaxaca cheese, a few fresh leaves of epazote and strips of peeled chile poblano. Potato and chorizo filling--that used for tacos...--is also a favorite version, while the most highly esteemed of all are those of sauteed squash blossoms (flor de calabaza) or the ambrosial fungus that grows on the corn blossoms (huitlachoche), both of which are at their best during the rainy months of summer and early fall."--The Tortilla Book, Diana Kennedy [Harper & Row:New York] 1975 -(p. 106)

Notice the part I put in bold: farther south one goes the more complicated they become. Yeah right. I thought huitlachoche was bad. . .

This weekend in Phoenix (which is not south from here as far as I know), I decided to have brunch at the Cheesecake Factory. The Morning Quesadilla sounded simple enough, here's the description from their online menu:

A Flour Tortilla Stuffed with Scrambled Eggs, Bacon, Peppers, Onions,Black Beans, Cilantro, Cheddar and Jack Cheese and Tomatillo Cream Sauce. Served with Guacamole, Sour Cream and Salsa.

It was rediculously large. I couldn't hold it up with my two hands! I must have read wrong because I thought half of the things listed were on the side. Nothing had ever prepared me for that. My poor stomach is still punishing me.

More coming soon, but for now, beware of impostor quesadillas from the "south". . .